"MYSTERIUM FIDEI"

(Personal Spiritual Diary Series - Sun, 28.06.09)

By David Sutedja

I just attended a relative wedding. It was somewhere in downtown Jakarta. I know this guy, he’s my far away relative. This isn’t his first marriage. This is his second marriage. His first wife passed away because of cancer. He has a son in the age of primary school. Wedding supposes to be a wonderful event. Yes, indeed. But one way of another, I kept thinking of his first wife. I worked with her before for couple of years.

What was in my thought, a kind of concept that really full awaken my conscience that nothing in this world remains eternal. I kept looking people around me. My mother was there. She isn’t remain with me forever too, my wife too. I came home with bundles of impressions. Lucky for me, it’s still holiday.

I have a habit. I like to talk in prayer for hours. I can’t do this except in certain period like holiday. That’s why I don’t like traveling during holiday. My wife should understand this very well ( this isn’t easy for the first period of my marriage) but now she realizes a better opinion of this. ‘Action speaks stronger than merely words’.

Praying for everyone just like talking. I have a best moment of prayer. When I was in Japan, I have a roommate, he’s a muslim. He liked to wake up midnight and had ‘sholat’. Once, I asked him and he explained to me that it’s sholat tahajud, It must be done at midnight. I didn’t know he just joked or what, but he explained that the line to connect between God and us, at midnight, free of any traffic lights.

Well, I began practicing midnight prayer shortly after that. But later, I found out it’s not about free of traffic lights. You know, I stayed in 3rd floor building in Japan, that my mess. When we went up, it’s an open area of roof and you could see the view of Japan. It’s beautiful. I’d like to go up and prayed there at midnight ( one night, somewhow, somebody accidentally locked the door and caused me to be there till morning) . For me, the deep feeling between God and you can be created during midnight prayer. It’s really deep, till you may have that kind of time distortion. You don’t realize it had been hours. The sweetness is unchangeable! It’s just there’s no boundaries between you and Him.